Ghost In The Machine

A father has had to have a few drinks before he visits his son in hospital. He wants his son to move, to wake up and so he talks to him to induce some reaction. His son can hear him, but cannot move a muscle nor show any vital signs to his father or the hospital specialists. A fateful decision has been made and his father must tell him.

“You’ve captured interior monologue well here. The tension is unbearable towards the end, very nice. Adam’s voice and thoughts are very clear and articulate.”
Bridget Holding, Exeter University Creative Writing Course, Lecturer.

“This kept me hooked as I read it, but also stayed with me long after I had finished it. That is quite an achievement for 500 words. Using the son’s thoughts and the father’s words, you have pulled the readers into the story and they can’t help but become involved. They feel what the father is feeling, how he thinks the situation may be his fault for wanting a good education for his son. But they can also feel the son’s frustration at not being able to put his father right. By showing rather than telling the readers what is happening, you have trusted them to recreate the scene in their own imaginations. They are able to conjure pictures of the characters acting, reacting and thinking. Certainly we are not bored or distracted because we are involved in the story. We want to know more and to read on…very well done.”
First Prize for the ‘Writing can be Murder’ Competition at the Winchester Writers’ Festival 2014.